"If I can" If I can stand up, despite the heavy feeling Without being weighed down By isolation and hiding behind the mask of working, Then maybe a smile will change this frown. If I can lift myself up Without pulling others with me when I fall, Then maybe I have my own backup And not be alone when I crawl. If I can join them in drinking, Maybe I can see myself again Without my body wanting a shift of closing, Maybe I can be their sister without pain. If I can chat up a storm Without overthinking the words and phrases Maybe the sentences will form A dialogue without phases. If I can write this poem Without tears falling down, Then maybe I can slowly show'em How I am still me, and is still. around.

 Hello there, I don't know the purpose or the reason of this. I don't have any possible reasoning as to why my mind made me get up from bed at midnight, a few minutes after your birthday to write this letter that will probably end up in the unsent folder of my laptop. I wish there was a reason. Maybe it was the thought that it was our tradition. Something we did every year when the skies started to rain more, the last month before the Christmas carols surface from the vaults or just the day we ask each other how we are and then a few replies later our conversation disappears. Maybe it was the idea that there was someone that could appreciate the smallest idea of remembering you despite not having any form of communication in the last 364 days that had passed. Maybe it was just me or maybe I'm just overreacting. But nonetheless, after almost 10 years of greeting you for your birthday, you seemed to have decided not to answer or give any reaction about it. I have to admit, of

                        The twinkling stars looked down on them as the heavy feeling in their chests never went away. The arguments still replaying in their heads as they tried their hardest not to let the tears fall.                          That heavy feeling looming above them, hiding the twinkling stars and shining moon that studied them. It felt as evil as it felt, making them sick in their stomach. How was it possible that the once peaceful and united family seemed to be falling apart?                         Their minds betraying them as the memory of night appeared in their heads. The last breath and the sobbing all so clear to them as if it all happened yesterday, "What could I have said to raise you from the dead?" father asked quietly as he looked up the sky.                     The stars twinkled back at him, "Oh I can be the sky ever since that July..."                           Everyone followed his line of sight, a constricting feeling as they finally

To old me, How have you been little one? It's been a while since I last I checked up on you. A lot happened. I know. It's okay.  Don't bottle it up because it sucks. The feeling sucks, the feeling is shitty. Believe me it's better to cry it all out than not crying at all.  It's been a while huh? It's okay. I know. That heavy feeling in your chest will relieve. That zoning out moments will pass and that numb feeling will fade. I know. It's okay. We have our own story that I think you need to get through your head for you to understand. You will understand. It's okay. I know/ Remember the time when you first brought him home? The nerves he felt and yet you weren't even fazed? You weren't scared, you felt warm and light. You got to bring him home now. And ever since then it had become normal, to a point where he left pieces of him in your home. Your home. Ever since then, each picture you took was pinned up in your wall. All the whispers were rememb

      "What is LOVE?" a little girl asked her big sister. They were both just sitting at home. The both of them having  long dark hair, both wearing white shirts and was sitting in front of the TV watching the Twilight series.       "What kind of question is that?" the older sister asked. She never did liked that kind of topics.       "Oh come on ate. Just answer my question.." her sister said and looked at her intently. They were having a staring contest and like the last they played this game, she  LOST . In defeat she sighed and looked at the clock.      "Okay.." she answered quietly. Her sister smiled and clapped her hands. It took a while, she was just staring at the clock.      "Go on ate.." her sister said while arms crossed.       "Okay.." she said while taking a deep breath and continued. "Well, if you asked your ate way back 2013, she would say that  LOVE is everything, all you need in th

            It was foggy; all I could see is pink tulips and a pathway. It was like I had been there before, like I knew the place. I was walking down the path when I heard laughter; it was so beautiful, so cheerful. I knew that laugh but I can’t see who it was until, a girl holding yellow flowers appeared she was wearing a white dress but no shoes on. Her laugh was so pretty but all I could see was her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes that crinkle whenever she would smile. I started walking up to her until –             “Babe! Wake up!” someone was jumping on my bed and my eyes opened. “Babe we’re gonna be late! Get up.”             When I opened my eyes and saw my girl it wasn’t her. “Hey what’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” she asked laughing. That laugh, it wasn’t her. It felt wrong yet I could only think of my dream.             “Well whatever it is you better get ready. Adelaide is here and we better tell her.” With that Giselle walked out of my room and cl

      In an abandoned house, there resides a vase. The vase was once filled with colorful flowers which changed  every month. It was once surrounded by the bright sunlight and it was once witnessed the jolly kids of each generation it served in. The vase was once a heirloom of one of the known families in the region. It once stood with beauty and excellence.       The vase resided in the house for centuries, multiple generations had it seen.       Many years passed, the newest generation came, modern times entered and the heirloom was soon forgotten. The once filled with vibrant colorful flowers, the once standing with beauty was now filled with dirt and cobwebs. What was once the epitome of beauty now looks dull and dusty. And as a few more generations pass, the vase was completely forgotten.       In the year 2015, there hit a big storm that struck the beloved home, the family was forced to evacuate and leave behind all things the don't seem to care about anymore.